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Resorts World New York City Field Trip

By Chuckmonster on Tuesday, 24th July 2012 4:14pm
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Resortsworldnyc Marquee

There is nothing exciting about taking a day trip to gamble.

I mean, yeah, if you're hot on some action and need a bump of the stuff, any stuff, then fine, have at it. But something is missing at the racino, riverboat or tribal joint if you don't have a room booked upstairs. Same could be said for staying at the Days Inn on the outskirts of town as well. C'mon cheapass, sleep with the slot machines.

Resorts World Casino New York City, Aqueduct Raceway's answer to Pennsylvania's casinos, which are an answer to Atlantic City, which is an answer to the entire state of Nevada. Cause and effect, dominoes, ripples... but with each successive bounce of the sound wave the message gets more and more cloudy.

Perhaps, I'm answering the wrong question. Curiosity continually kills me. I drive, I park, I walk in armed with cash and ready to get into a shootout with the nearest one armed bandit or poker slot or card game or dice table. Often times I leave thinking "that was a waste of time." Not all movies are entertaining, fewer still are blockbusters, instant classics are the rarest of all breeds. The same goes for casinos. You just feel it. The heart starts pounding before you even get to the door, the scent awakens your senses and opens your eyes and activates your salivary glands. Your blood pressure simultaneously increases and relaxes, your stride quickens, posture straightens, cavities begin to heal themselves. Is it possible to fuck a building?

Resortsworldnyc Porte

Resorts World NYC isn't that kinda place.

Resortsworldnyc Flowers

From its ropey, nonsensical logo on the 'straight out of McDonalds' early 1980s branding book' marquee to the design in a flash fart-deco exterior bolted onto the Big A's supremely dirty self, Resorts World NYC doesn't make a helluva lot of sense. That doesn't mean you can't gamble here and have a good time. Just don't expect Las Vegas, or Reno.

Resortsworldnyc Cars

Sure, they have big shiny chandeliers and cars for the winning on display, but what this place lacks is... well... perversion. If separating your grandmother from her social security check is the point, then Resorts World has it in spades. If separating the underpants from the blonde at the bar with witty repartee and top notch cocktails is your thing, then go to Atlantic City.

Resortsworldnyc Chandelier

Maybe it is a question of semantics. The word casino means very different things to many different people, to me it means balls to the walls fun, a dynamic social atmosphere which moves faster the more you drink in the atmosphere and ever flowing booze.

Resortsworldnyc 360

Slots slots and more slots. There are no table games at Resorts World New York City, but there is a "pit" of electronic table games - blackjack, roulette, craps etc - and two large swaths of electronic community baccarat games which I've previously only seen in Macau. Folks were certainly trying, but no dice, means no dice to me. The sorry thing is that if casino bosses had their druthers, this is the casino of the future - no dice to keep track of, no cards to keep people from counting, no chips to cart and count and no dealers to demand dinners and healthcare. A robot casino, whose only staff are armed security guards. Eventually, they'll outsource those guys to eye in the sky laser beams, but probably not in my lifetime.

Resortsworldnyc Baccarat

Perhaps in the biggest coup of meta-metaness, Resorts World NYC casino looks like Las Vegas' New York New York, from the faux-deco flourishes to the black painted drop ceiling. Even the tiling outside of the bathroom screams NYNYLV. If you weren't already heading to bathroom to relieve your bowels, you definitely will after eyeballing this for a second. It looks like art that someone from a far away country thinks Americans would appreciate.

Resortsworldnyc Art

Might I suggest a NYC taxi roller coaster ride? Or some steaming manhole covers in the middle of the dining promenade?

Resortsworldnyc Carpet

One can only wonder, truly wonder, what Wynn would've done with the place. Sucks to be New York.






Comments & Discussion:

Let's cut to the quick. This place looks like a suburban shopping mall and the artwork looks like they had some kids from a local school do it. The chandelier sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl.

What's impressive is that when I made a degenerate horse racing trip to Aqueduct about 18 months ago, they had just barely broken ground on this thing. It went up really really fast!

I'm completely mesmerized by the Apple-Rabbit corporate artwork. It looks like it is wearing Barbara Bush's pearls slung around my Mom's sweater that she wears only for irony on the 4th of July. Meanwhile it's hooping away from the MGM Grand Macau while NY City explodes in the background

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